Thoughtful Ramblings

Over the last number of years I have struggled much more with anxiety. In my younger years, very little phased me. Sure, speaking in front of others was a bit nerve wracking at times, especially at first, and there was the occasional worry about whether I had done as well as I would have liked in exams. All this is pretty normal. When the kids arrived, I tried not to be the anxious mum or at least not to show my kids I was anxious. But time and some postnatal depression took its toll and I became unwell. I recovered through the support of people around me, medication and of course my faith which sustained me through a very dark period. And then for many years I was fine. There were ups and downs, but I was ok. In fact I accomplished a lot. Then menopause hit with it's particular brand of issues. For the most part it's been ok but the increase in anxiety has not. It's almost brought me to a standstill so that at times I am barely coping, barely managing to get o ut of bed...

Life can be complicated. There are so many things to consider, relationships to nurture, education, work, maintaining physical and emotional health, and personal growth. Within each of these there are many and varied nuances that we navigate on a daily basis. Sometimes, at least for me, it's a huge win just to get out of bed and get going with the day. On other days I seem to be able to take on the world. On top of all these things are the expectations we carry, that are placed on us, knowingly or unknowingly by others or even by ourselves. The weight of these can feel very heavy at times like a yoke that binds us to the grindstone of what can feel like an interminable daily toil. How can we get to a place of real productivity ( defined by me as 'the things that really matter') when we seem bound to something that is never ending. I don't have all the answers. Maybe you  have experienced times when you've felt like the expectations of others, their call on your ti...