Living with Purpose

Life can be complicated. There are so many things to consider, relationships to nurture, education, work, maintaining physical and emotional health, and personal growth. Within each of these there are many and varied nuances that we navigate on a daily basis. Sometimes, at least for me, it's a huge win just to get out of bed and get going with the day. On other days I seem to be able to take on the world.

On top of all these things are the expectations we carry, that are placed on us, knowingly or unknowingly by others or even by ourselves. The weight of these can feel very heavy at times like a yoke that binds us to the grindstone of what can feel like an interminable daily toil. How can we get to a place of real productivity ( defined by me as 'the things that really matter') when we seem bound to something that is never ending.

I don't have all the answers. Maybe you  have experienced times when you've felt like the expectations of others, their call on your time, (and sometimes on your finances), is so overwhelming that you feel  you are being taken for granted, (I have) and wonder if they ever consider anyone but themselves. Of course this isn't always true. Other people are also dealing with difficult and sometimes overwhelming situations.

What I do know is that we are responsible for our own actions and feelings and we are in control of what we will and won't allow. Sometimes that means saying 'I'm sorry but I can't help you today'. This may upset other people but remember you and I are not responsible for how they feel. I am happy to help people when I can, but like everyone else I also have other things to do, other commitments to fulfil, including work and a fledgling business that requires my time and attention.

Sometimes saying no is hard because we care about people, but for our own wellbeing, and the growth of others, saying no can be immensely freeing. As we practice saying yes to the right things and no to the right things, we begin to build good life boundaries that can protect us from feeling overwhelmed. (More on boundaries can be found in the book Boundaries, by Drs Cloud and Townsend available at most bookstores and online).

So back to the question of how do we manage all these things? As well as creating good boundaries, here's what I've found helpful in the past and continue to practise.

Firstly we can establish what our values are. Knowing what we value most helps us to set our priorities in the right direction and inform what we want from life. These in turn inform our daily, weekly, monthly and yearly goals.

What are your values? When we take time to establish our values we will begin to see a clearer picture of what we could achieve. We will also begin to discover our purpose and to see how we could really make a difference.

Where do you want to be in 5 years time? What do you want your life to look like? Write it down. A vision of the future is a powerful tool. Now work backwards from here and set goals that will help you achieve that vision. Setting goals can seem intimidating, but give it a go. They will help you move in a direction away from the grindstone into purpose and rest.

Now if you're struggling with life in some way, this could in itself seem overwhelming, so please don't pressure yourself to do what you are not yet able to do or are ready for. Please get the support you need to help you move forward. If at this stage, your goal is simply to make it out of bed each day, then that is ok. And when you do get out of bed, celebrate the win! (Because you have achieved your goal today and everything else is a bonus).

As we embrace our values and our vision and are ready to move forward, here is a simple plan to help you reflect on your values and vision, and create goals to achieve them.

My values are (e.g. my faith, family, education, integrity, honesty....)
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.

My Vision
In 5 years time... (write where you'd like to ge and what you'd like to ge doing)

5 year goals that reflect your values and who you are.
1.
2.
3.

Now set yearly goals that will help you move forward.

1.
2.
3.

And now, what will you do week to week to move forward towards your goals.

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.

Focus on the key things. Keep them simple,  do-able and achievable and build accountability by telling someone you trust and who will be a positive influence in your life. If you are keen, follow this process for the key areas of your life which could include your family and other relationships,  your work, your education.

I'm ready to create my new 5 year plan.   This will help me focus on what is important, what I need to say 'yes' to, and also where I can say 'no, that activity does not fit in with my values, my vision, and my goals'.

For me, as a follower of Jesus, my faith is the key value that informs everything else, including what I value and how I express my goals. Being involved in a community of faith means that I not only look to my own interests, but also to the interests of others, in a way that is healthy and positive allowing each of us individuallly and collectively to grow and live with purpose.

We all have key values. Discover yours and embark on a journey that is less about the grindstone and more about values and purpose thday lead to a more fulfilling life and lifestyle.